I am the proud owner of three humans! There’s Furry (Dad) who plays a game with me called Shoo – get off the chair, and then there’s Feeder (Mum) the infinite source of food, and best of all there’s Player (Millie), the one that came up with those funny names (Mum and Dad). Oh I almost forgot, then there’s Mr. Sloathington, Millie’s awful head teacher, I’m glad I don’t own him, I do my business in his front garden every evening when Millie takes me for a walk; oddly she doesn’t clear that one up and take it home in a bag.

If I were the eighth dwarf my name would be Bouncy, I just can’t help “bouncing off the walls” as Mr. Furry describes it. I have come to the conclusion that it’s all my species’ fault – whatever that is. I worked this out because when Mr. Furry complains about me Millie says, “It’s what she’s meant to do, her species is springer spaniel, she is meant to spring”. But whatever Furry says I just keep on bouncing, because I know he loves me really.

Wednesday and Thursday afternoons, when Feeder goes out to work, is my time to shine. I become so many superheroes, from the secret snack snatcher to the cheeky chair chewer and the proud pillow pillage. After saving the house, sort of, I have a little paws – ha ha, dog pun – and wait by the door for Millie to return home.

I feel envious of Millie, she has opposable thumbs, I wish I could throw sticks, unfair, but she doesn’t have a tail, so we’re even!! Also I have never seen her lick anybody, odd.


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